I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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