Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
