so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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