So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
