She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he thought i was a dude.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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