I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
