try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize