Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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