So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
