I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
