You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will be naked everywhere
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
