I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
