i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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