I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
