I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
