goodnight i made you a song goodbye
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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