Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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