Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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