I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sponge bath it is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
