im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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