sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
