my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
third nipple confirmed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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