i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
