its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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