i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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