Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
