Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
