Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
