...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
