Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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