i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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