You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
