I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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