Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
