Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize