some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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