I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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