I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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