Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
