My first STD was from a foam party
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
