why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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