my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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