My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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