how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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