A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
