just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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