I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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