Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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