The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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