My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.