U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
