My first STD was from a foam party
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
