my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
