is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
