no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
