It's Friday. Sex?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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