So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
