Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
