You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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