Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
