she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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